So, I promised I would revisit responsibility as it relates to making babies. The first side is woman or in some sad cases girls. The other side is the man or boys. Now my daddy always told my brother and the boys in the neighborhood that if you don't want a baby with em don't sleep with them. Are parents teaching their sons that now?
Scenario 1 ~ male, whether man or boy, is having sex with a "jump off." Jump off gets pregnant on purpose. How should male feel? Should he man up and take responsibility since having sex can always lead to the creation of a human life? Should he demand she have an abortion? Should he say f it and let her be on her own?
Scenario 2 ~ male is in a relationship with a female. Both are young and don't really have any stability but they are a couple. Female gets pregnant on purpose. What happens? How should he feel? What if she gets pregnant on accident?
Those are only 2 scenarios but what are moms teaching their sons? What about dads?
I guess being that I have a son I hope that I first can instill in responsibility when it comes to sex. I need for him to understand that at the end of the day a woman controls pro-creation. That is what my mom and dad taught me. I also want him to be careful. If he were caught up in scenario 1, I could understand his resentment. I could understand him not wanting to have anything to do with the child or the female. I do however hope that regardless of the scenario he would work through those issues and put his child first.
In teaching our kids responsibility it is important, I believe, to teach them individual responsibility. When I got ready to go off to college my daddy said to me "don't get yourself in a situation you can't get out of." He would periodically remind me of this. What that phrase meant to me was simple. Take responsibility for your own actions. If I had gotten into some precarious situations, I believe my dad would have supported me, as would my mom. However, even though he may have never said anything, I always knew that you are not to get yourself in a situation you can't get out of. Translation ~ you don't wind up in cars with boys you don't know in places you are unfamiliar. You don't drink drinks made by people you don't know. You don't get drunk at a party with a bunch of strangers. You don't tease boys/men, when you know you have no intentions of putting out. Because if you do any of these things you may find yourself in a situation that you can't get out of.
An excellent topic. I'm of the opinion that a female would have more control over her body. Unforunately, many females flaunt their sexuality and believe it is the essence of their being and therefore sets out to conquor the "boy" while thinking this will give them a foot up.
ReplyDeleteScenario 1--Female usually knows she's a jump off but uses scenarios like this to challege with the thought of "changing" it to her liking. He darn well has the right to be pissed but knowing that she is a jump off should protect himself first of all. I don't think she has the right to simply throw fatherhood on him at her desire.
Senario 2---Although in a relationship, the intent is the same on the part of the female. Getting pregnant on purpose is a selfish behavior that has lifetime consequences. Gets pregnant by accident? Should still be responsible with her own body. I still deem that as loose behavior.
Too many mothers are concerned about being their daughters friends instead of setting boundaries. I made it clear to my daughter that I'm her mother and to seek out her friends amongst her peers.
In both scenarios it would be difficult not to bare resentment. I've seen girls get pregnant simply because the boys family had money and the girl wanted to make her life easier by getting "knocked up" on purpose. So what was her mother teaching her? In the end, no one wins.