The Anti Baby Mama Book

While visiting the Shrine of the Black Madonna in Atlanta, I was standing at the counter paying for some books and noticed a book behind the cash register titled "The Anti Baby Mama Book."  I initially laughed, asked to see a copy, and told my LS that I had to get the book because I could only imagine what it could be about and contain between the cover.  

I must say I was pleasantly surprised.  The author does a very good job of explaining several things.  One that anyone can be a "baby mama."  It is not about economics.  She also speaks on why you shouldn't want to be a baby mama.  I actually read the book from cover to cover in a couple of hours.  I simply could not put it down.  I know plenty of women who jokingly refer to themselves as the "baby mama."  But I also know plenty of women/girls who seriously are "baby mamas."

After reading the book I begin to reflect on what it really means to be a "baby mama" and if that is what we as women should be allowing anyone to refer to us as.  Is it a term of endearment or love?  Absolutely not! In fact quite frankly it minimizes the role of being a mother.  Unfortunately, there are many women who actually probably deserve the title, however, there are many more who for whatever reason have allowed themselves to be referred to this, but definitely should not allow it.

Truthfully speaking there is nothing positive gained when you hear the term "baby mama."  It is usually preceded with "she's just my..." or followed by "drama."  I would dare say that she is probably (if she is truly a reflection of the term) someone who got pregnant on purpose thinking (wrongly) that a baby would make him love her, stay around, or somehow bind them together forever.  When in reality none of the above has transpired.  

I also thought about when the phrase came about because when I was growing up that was not a catch phrase in referring to a parent of either sex.  The only thing I can think of was the song by B Rock and the Biz "That's Just My Baby Daddy."  Anyone else know of another origin?

I have asked the question many times and I will ask it again.  Does it matter what you are called?  Some would say it only matters what you answer too, however, I would suggest that if you are called something long enough you will eventually answer.  

I strongly suggest that you pick this book up and really give what the author says some thought and have the conversation.  The only way we grow is if we begin to honestly address some of what is going on in our communities.  I would definitely say this minimization of parenting and parents is definitely a problem that needs addressing and who knows, maybe it starts with what we define ourselves as.